It mutes me. I can always feel it creeping in again; I begin to hold my tongue. Words just don’t seem to hold much meaning when it comes back. It’s a dulling, a subtle numbing of the senses. Tired down to bones so heavy they could anchor a ship seven miles out to sea.
Wouldn’t that be lovely? Seven whole miles of pure silence. Only an occasional gulls squaw slicing through the silence. The hunger of those birds is incessant, gnawing and ever present. The very thought of it exhausts me.
Back home again
Here, amongst the memories and the missed moments…I miss you
In down at heel bars I was down and out…without you
Under the neon glow of diner signs in a far away city I tried pumpernickel pie and sighed….thinking of you
I went to the stars hungry for adventure…dreamed only of you
Run away again I must…but this time I run to you
In the midst of a swirling blizzard I lay
Spent and unhinged
Caring little whether it was night or day
There was a blurring twixt the real and the fantasy
Which was which
I couldn’t say
Years passed in this prone like state, as meekly I lay
Waiting for a kind word, just one, to lift me to my feet
Yet none ever came.
You haunt me.
In every thought, in every word, in every moment
You linger.
Fog in the air, fog in my mind
I can’t tell the difference between your being
And mine
Too much love to give
Too many moments lived
Too much to give it all to one
Yet, a heart must persevere
Try to uphold this sense of only belonging to one
To keep it...simple?
To keep some sense of morality
But wings feel...clipped?
Sick down to the core with sentimentality
Of when youth was abundant and time seemed limitless
A whole world of promise lay in just one kiss
A little different from the usual content I post but I love to support a friend. Especially my best friend who had her first ever poem published in an indie poetry zine. Of course I was immensely proud of her when she told me this. You can purchase the magazine here https://www.duplikat.co.uk/product-page/fear-naut-issue-2. I recommend it highly!
We all try through the years to make things right Setting aside our own hearts desires for the good of others The years pass and we siphon out what happiness we may Because its a cruel, cruel world The only truth is struggle Though the passage of time pales the path upon which we staggered None of it was ever easy A best, a killing joke They never spared the yoke For those who had a dream We've all been, at some point Upon these blood stained knees Screaming, for a blessing PLEASE, PLEASE (please me) Yearning for the lessons of success Only wanting to be the best Wanting it all Here Now Forever
Persistence and a positive attitude will carry you through Even when dawn seems so far away The newly born day will always come If you can just hold on Wait for the light Hold steady It can't always be night
I went to the country
Looked up at the skies
At all of those stars
They seemed to burn so bright
I thought only of you
Felt the pulling, this yearning deep inside
Knowing instantly
It was you
Only ever you
Always you
Nothing before
Nothing after
Nothing in the inbetween
Only you
All I ever knew
Was all that ever mattered
Searching for meaning
When meaning was home
I should have just trusted
All I had ever known
Well, the world has taken all I have
So there’s literally nothing left
She’s bleeding me dry
I’m cast aside, left bereft
But yet I keep laughing
Tell me, in earnest
What is the joke?
I’m penniless, soon to be homeless
No magic genie to solve my situation, can I evoke
But I’m loved and I’m thought of
So for much more I can’t ask
These things we are “losing” are just material
And there’s nothing that, forever, lasts.
