Back home again
Here, amongst the memories and the missed moments…I miss you
In down at heel bars I was down and out…without you
Under the neon glow of diner signs in a far away city I tried pumpernickel pie and sighed….thinking of you
I went to the stars hungry for adventure…dreamed only of you
Run away again I must…but this time I run to you
In the midst of a swirling blizzard I lay
Spent and unhinged
Caring little whether it was night or day
There was a blurring twixt the real and the fantasy
Which was which
I couldn’t say
Years passed in this prone like state, as meekly I lay
Waiting for a kind word, just one, to lift me to my feet
Yet none ever came.
You haunt me.
In every thought, in every word, in every moment
You linger.
Fog in the air, fog in my mind
I can’t tell the difference between your being
And mine
I went to the country
Looked up at the skies
At all of those stars
They seemed to burn so bright
I thought only of you
Felt the pulling, this yearning deep inside
Knowing instantly
It was you
Only ever you
Always you
Nothing before
Nothing after
Nothing in the inbetween
Only you
All I ever knew
Was all that ever mattered
Searching for meaning
When meaning was home
I should have just trusted
All I had ever known
Sow your seeds in silence
Diligently digging, deep down in dirt
Without expectation
Without bated breath
May beauty grow with patience
Lest haste be met with death
There’s a little of you left in me.
It never went away.
It hid behind blood and bone.
digging deeper until
In my very essence
It found a home
How can something so small swallow up so much of a life?
He’s the quiet voice
That I need
But can’t always hear
Yet when my being is heavy
He lifts up my burdens
Helps lighten my load
Deep in my heart I feel Him
Deep in my being
He’s always near
When I’m cast adrift by the cruel acts of man
He’s always there to take my hand
To soothe my soul
Quieten my inner turmoil
Others may mock
Make jest, make light of the solemnity of Faith
But my saviour; Our Lord
Him, above all others
Will I never forsake
You have carried me through the deep
Through the darkest nights
My love upon high
My guiding light
I cannot see you
Not because I have grown blind
Because our love has grown entangled
I am you
You are me
We have grown
Flotsam and jetsam
The remainders of the shipwreck of my heart
You, the feckless captain
jumped ship long ago
Swimming away to sin on shores unknown
The sun keeps on rising and setting
Setting, rising
Rising, setting
A certainty we can rely on
Yet here I stay
A wreck
Laying, prone, on this unforgiving reef
Of spent and squandered lust
A sea of my own making
Around me, ebbs, flows
How quickly can a broken heart take anchor?
I’d really like to know
